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Thursday, March 22nd, 2007
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11:07 pm
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Holy shit. I come back from rehab* to find the Dean's car exploded, people have died and the dean's car exploded?
Fucking A. FUCKING A!!!
(Hey, Alfric! You can't pin it on me, you asshole. So kisses!)
* Dad and I took a little trip and saw Amy Winehouse perform. That's right. I'm cooler than all of you combined.
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, January 21st, 2007
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5:43 pm
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So... Bill. Curiosity, here. Are we exclusive or inclusive?
Because I kinda want to throttle somebody's thick monster-neck. Hope you don't mind.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, December 21st, 2006
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11:49 pm - Shit Schedule
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Okay. Let's see. Um. Weird? Hi?
This is what you look like, Weird:
1. Math
2. Romantic and Victorian Poetry
3. Italian
4. Drawing
5. Sculpting
6. Drama
What the fuck? Italian? Romantic and Victorian Poetry? Drama? Why the fuck do I get the feeling, also, that my fucking therapist was in on this? The artistic stuff? Yeah, that reeks of a hippie mentality right there.
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(12 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, December 12th, 2006
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10:39 pm
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Right. Well. I've beeb thinking about it, and sinte Sandra's family is coming in for Chrsstmas, I went blonder again.
Consider it your Chritsmas present.
heyeh. I[m not drunk. jUst typingly shallenged.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, November 15th, 2006
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10:44 pm
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I'm tempted to go to the dance.
Naked.
Okay, maybe not naked. But with a more interesting choice of dress than most of the ones I've seen in shop windows.
Hey, Bill. I liked your note, by the way. And the gift. Don't know if I remembered to tell you or not.
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(9 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, November 5th, 2006
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5:14 pm - Impromptu party
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Forget giving away the booze or even selling it. I'm having an impromptu party tonight at ten. No one busted Freddy's party, so let's have it in the woods behind school. It'll be cold, but not for long, if you get my drift.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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12:18 pm - My Birthday, Thanks
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No birthday wishes? Seriously? No gifts? No trinkets?
You people suck.
I'm gonna take gunpowder to all of y'all. Not kidding. Soon as I get enough gunpowder, that's what I'm gonna do.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, October 30th, 2006
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9:31 am - Still Alive: Good for Them
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Sandra and Dad did not die in the car accident, and it doesn't look like they'll be dying in the near future, so that's good.
Um. This is going to maybe sound kind of weird. Does anyone know what I've been up to lately? This is like my second or third day sober, and I don't think I'd be sober right now if I didn't know Dad and Sandra would be home within the next week.
Oh, shit. Um. I need to get rid of some alcohol. Any takers?
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, October 15th, 2006
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6:02 pm
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It's okay it's okay it's okay i's okay everything's fine. Everything GOING to be fine.
Shitshithsitshitshitshitshit.
Oh, fuck.
Okay, okay. It's fine. I'mg it's going to be okay.
Iti'mj ust going to go lie down.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
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1:16 pm - A Song Just For You All
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To celebrate Halloween, we're going to have a little a little Christmas ditty.
So. To the tune of that bell song, the one that sounds... CAROL OF THE BELLS! That's it! Take THAT, unhelpful google!
Ready? Right.
You people suck.
You people suck.
You people stink
You people reek
Why don't you just fuck yourseelves
Why don't you just kill an elf
Look out!
It's teh stupid!
Coming for you don't you see
It'll get you before it gets mee
You little fucks
You mindless fucks
That's how it goes
You... have... no... nose...
With <3<3<3<3<3<3<3's,
Eliza
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, September 25th, 2006
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3:21 pm
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Hey, Machiavelli!
Here's a new icon, just for you!
There's music that goes with it. Ha ha ha ha HAAAAAAAA ha. Ha ha ha ha HAAAAAAAAA ha!
HA!
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 19th, 2006
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8:34 pm - My Platform
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Okay, come on.
He can't even throw his own party to meet people? He has to mooch off someone else's?
Fine. I'll go ahead and post my campaign platform too.
- I think in addition to the usual stuff in the cafeteria, the school should sell more stuff, like hot pockets in the morning and cookies and Nutri-grain bars in the afternoon, between class breaks. The money from this can go to scholarship funds.
- We need to have more access to counselors, and we need to make them get to know us so that they actually give a shit instead of sitting in their office waiting for us to come to them and saying they give a shit.
- I think students should have the right to say things specifically to the administration. Yes, I know people will abuse this from time to time, but compared to how often the administration abuses us, I don't think it'll be a problem. Besides, some things you don't want to say to a middle man.
- People, I actually go to the school. I don't celebrate missing classes, like Machiavelli does (see his facebook for evidence). And I'm not obsessed with sports. I want to work at the school, and I want to make a difference.
- I'll have my own party. At Minelli's Pizza. Wednesday night at seven. (See? I even give the time and date of my party. Did anyone else? Not yet. I'm on the ball here, people!)
Vote Eliza. Because it's easier to spell, and because I'm the better choice.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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7:56 am
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You've got to be fucking kidding me! Jane doesn't have anyone running against her. Why the hell would Nick want the job anyway? I've been trying to get it for two fucking years, and he's a jock.
Okay. Fine. Fuck it. Here's my campaign thingie.
As your vice president, I swear not to let the administration push you guys around. Nick doesn't remember when that teacher got murdered and everybody thought we'd done it, but I was here. I had to deal with the cops, just like you guys did. And... I'll... try to carry through with stuff that hasn't already been done. Like... making sure the dishes and silverware in the cafeteria are washed properly. That's important, right? And no spinach, because I don't want people who vote for me to get E. Coli.
And Machiavelli just wants sports stuff and webcomics. And hookers.
Who would you rather vote for?
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 12th, 2006
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10:19 am - Yes, the Italics ARE Supposed to Help
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HA!
I am running for vice president. If anyone else tries to run, they'll die. Horribly.
It's about time we had someone like me doing the job. You know, someone who can actually do it, instead of all the student council meeting members who would just blow off meetings. I mean, come on.
So vote for me. 'Cause I'll work for you.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 18th, 2006
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6:10 pm
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It's absolute shit! I didn't fucking do it, and he ought to know it! But no, he had a bunch of the magazines in there and the cops found them and probably started asking questions about what he was doing with them there when he had a bunch of kids coming in and out all the time. So he's just fucking trying to pin it on me.
But man, did that plan ever backfire.
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(12 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, July 12th, 2006
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12:56 pm
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This is shit.
Ann Taylor is a fucking idiotic bitch.
Oh, sure. Some of you into the nutters might say she foresaw me and Jane, but that's crap. She didn't foresee anything.
This is just a very creepy, FALSE, coincidence.
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 4th, 2006
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10:43 am
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Holy crap. My parents took me to Texas for a vacation. To TEXAS.
And worse yet, they stopped on the way back to visit some of Sandra's family in Mississippi. And I tried, I really did, not to tell her youngest nephew that Santa Claus is making everyone fat so he can walk around without people noticing him, so long as he changed clothes, because there would be all these other really fat men walking around too. And I tried not to point out that this meant Santa was killing people because of all the health problems obesity entails. I tried not to point out that the boy's father is incredibly, incredibly, incredibly fat, and that in a few weeks' time might need a forklift to carry him around because ordinarily legs and automotive vehicles just wouldn't cut it.
But my soulmate, Sandra's niece (oddly, named Harvey, and the boy is named Laurell; talk about messed-up families), thought it was brilliant, and talked Laurell into trying to save their dad's life. So Laurell wouldn't let his dad eat anything; he'd snatch away his dad's food, and whenever he couldn't snatch it away and his dad started eating, he started crying. Loudly.
Harvey might be coming to visit us soon. We're going to help decorate the school.
You know, because we're nice like that.
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 15th, 2006
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10:59 am - My Run-In With Police. For the Record.
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For the record, just so I can make this clear to all you hoes (and rakes), I was imprisoned. Briefly. But they couldn't do anything to me. Oh, they might have thought I'd killed some chickens by smacking them against the grille of my car and then given them to Chick-Fil-A to feed the unsuspecting public, they might have thought I was running my own little whorehouse in my basement, they might have thought that if I didn't have a whorehouse in my basement, then surely I was keeping innocent Russian boys chained and bound with leather for my own amusement, they might even have thought I was sending the chief of police a bunch of pizzas he never ordered.
But instead, they had to release me, because they didn't have enough evidence. Of anything.
Imagine their faces when they realized I hadn't actually been drinking and they had to let me go.
Yeah. I know. Sweet.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 21st, 2006
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8:08 pm
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Aj-
Not sure when I'd run into you, so I just wanted to leave a note saying that in case you haven't noticed, we're breaking up. Effective... *checks watch* Two days ago.
Ta!
-Eliza
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 18th, 2006
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11:34 pm
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